Never Be Someone’s Rebound

My first article on this website was written on November 29th 2014. It was published at exactly 11:11.

Maybe I should’ve wished on that 11:11. Maybe I should’ve closed my eyes tight and said I hope this feeling lasts for a long time to come. Today is December 21st 2014. That feeling I should’ve wished on? Well, it left me yesterday.

It left me when he said to me that he was still in love with her. It left me when he explained how she came over to get the rest of her stuff and he told her he wasn’t over her. It left me completely when he said, “I thought when we had sex, I would’ve been able to move on but it actually made it worse.”

I am the rebound. I’m the person he used in order to not think about her as much. Not to hold me because he wanted to hold me, but because he didn’t have her to hold anymore. Not to kiss me, but to kiss someone so he wouldn’t feel so alone. Not to be intimate with me, but to use our sex as a distraction from the pain he felt.

Some people told me at least he was being honest. I agree … somewhat. Yes, of course I am glad he told me about this. He didn’t have to fake it anymore and I didn’t have to get more attached. But he read what I wrote about him the day it was published. He told me he was happy that he could give that to me, give me that protection I never felt before. He told me he was glad I felt safe with him. What about then? What about stopping it then? Telling me then that he had someone he always thought of and it didn’t start or end with any of the letters to my name. Instead, he introduced me to a couple of his friends, texted me every day, told me he cared. And who knows, he may care. He may not have lied when he told me yesterday that he did like me, that he didn’t think meeting someone on Tinder and actually liking them was ever going to happen but it did, telling me that I didn’t deserve to not know what was going on. Maybe he was telling the truth. But it doesn’t matter.

Because I’m his second choice. And no one should ever be someone’s second choice. No one should ever be the rebound. No one should ever be the ball that doesn’t quite want to go into the basket. The ball that touches the rim and ricochets back, bouncing on the floor until it starts rolling to the wall to be forgotten until the next time it wants to be used again.

I thought about staying with him. I thought maybe I could use him when I felt lonely just like he was using me. I thought it could just be for “fun”. And then I kept thinking. I kept thinking about how I felt when he held me and how I thought it was real and reciprocated. I kept thinking about when he would tell me how good I looked and how I believed his words. I kept thinking about the times he would play his guitar for me and how special I felt. How can I retract all of those feelings? How can I stop myself from liking him and just have fun? It’s impossible. Once feelings are felt, and especially once they are out in the open, that’s it.

 There’s no going back.

 And I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go back to the way I was when I shut out my emotions. I don’t want guys to think I am one of those cool chicks that doesn’t get attached. I don’t want to go back to pretending to be someone else so a guy would like me. I want to be me. I want someone to like me for me, not because there are no other options but because


There are people right now that may be reading this and cheering me on. Telling me good for you! You deserve better. This isn’t for praise or to make me feel better. This is for everyone and anyone who has ever been the rebound. This is for everyone and anyone who is still the rebound.

Don’t put yourself through this kind of mess because it isn’t yours to clean up. Whoever they aren’t over, it’s not your job to wipe their tears or wash their thoughts of them away. Because you know that if they ever got the chance to get back with their number one choice, they would. And you’d be left in the dust. And that’s when you’d be responsible to clean that dust up … along with the shattered pieces to your own heart.

Dramatic? Maybe. But maybe that’s how I don’t ever want to feel. Maybe that’s something I want to avoid. Maybe right now, it’s unavoidable. Maybe that is how I feel. But I will not let it drag on. I can’t do that to myself.

I texted him at 6:42 saying, “I can’t be someone’s rebound.”

It’s 7:24.

He hasn’t answered.


By: Kristin Jane Smith
Image Source: Pinterest