Couples Who Fight and Make Up: Don’t Worry, It’s Healthy

Perhaps, you've been asking the same question too. Let’s face it : even people who are madly in love with each other will fight eventually. Certain arguments often test the couples’ love, respect and patience with each other. Having conflicts and arguments does not mean they are not compatible and fighting does not always have to end up in messy breakups. As long as the couple is having a “fair fight”, it may strengthen their relationship because they COMMUNICATE.
 
If you are in a relationship fights are common and inevitable. Normally, couples who fight a lot may go through these five phases to a stronger bond — or goes into a breakup. Yet, let me list down the positive side of it

We love

When we love, apparently our significant other glows in front of us : flaws tend to dissolve and if they do appear, we never stop hoping these things shall change during the course of the relationship. That's an indication that love is strong and when it is, we often believe NOTHING can break the relationship apart.

We argue

We compromise a lot. Oftentimes it's 50/50, other moments it's 60/40 or even 70/30 but the bottom line is, we compromise out of respect and out of love for the sake our significant other’s happiness. But eventually, we get tired and when we do, we become a little rebellious. We tend to fight for what we want, what we deserve, what we thought as “this time, it’s my turn.”. We tell our significant other our side, we persuade the other person to accept that our idea is right, that we are correct and then, the next thing we know... An argument has taken place.

We fight

This is the highest form of argument when both parties don’t agree: fighting. It may be cold wars, giving each other space, word wars or anything associated with emotional pain. In this phase, we realize that the same person who makes us happy is the same person who makes us sad. Communication happens at this point. Mature couples try a respectful, structured way of confronting issues or fair-fighting (no blaming, talking softly, sticking to the issue, listening, looking for common ground, being open minded, etc). This is also a make-or-break phase; either we stay or leave.

We make up

When we decide to accept the situation, the essence of true love sets in. By embracing conflicts, we realize we have a lot to learn. Cooperation ends fighting. Respect plays a big role when resolving conflicts. Love should be the core value of the relationship. Trust cultivates the bond. Prayers strengthens faith. Acceptance provides relief. We make up to let the other person feel more special. We forgive and move on.

We love even more

Everything feels brand new. We let go. We list down the lessons learned. We rebuild our trust and adjust expectations. We accept that everything in this world is not perfect and that we get hurt and bounce back at some point. We realize that unconditional love is patient and kind. We make peace. It takes two souls to make the relationship work. As long as there is a strong love, both people involved in the relationship can endure any kind of trials and circumstances.

Forgiveness becomes the default button in resolving conflicts that strengthens the relationship.

Having a healthy relationship depends on the couple. Love, respect, acceptance, forgiveness, patience and having a God-centered life are essential for a long-lasting relationship.



By: Sky Lacea

Image Source: Pinterest